This is a list of alternative ways of defining certain terms:
1. Luggage security check at the airport: Baggage Carwash
2. A stand-up comedian: Manic Depressive individual with a sense of irony
3. A Dictator: A guy who has an issue with his height and is compensating in other ways. (Oh, and he need a juicy moustache.)
4. Yelling at a TV during the football game: The standard by which many men measure their manhood.
5. Meeting the parent’s in law: A chance to see how you’ll end up 20 years.
6. Cats: Pets with serious attitude problem who pretend to love you and then scratch your eyes out for kicks.
7. L’Oreal Commercials: Computer-manipulated women who try to convince themselves more than others that they’re worth the thousands of dollars they were paid to do that ad.
8. The security procedure run-through on planes: An unjustified demand for attention.
9. Christmas tree: A great way to fill your carpet with 10 Billion needles.
10. Retirement home: Minimum security Prisons
11. The cleaner: The origin of your soap shortage problems.
12. The waiting room at the doctor’s: A place where you guess what everybody else has got
13. The Best man: the guy she really should be marrying
14. A date: A job interview that lasts all night
15. Chopsticks: Chinese public announcement of fork-opposition
16. MacDonald’s: A triple by-pass











