Alternative Definitions

 

This is a list of alternative ways of defining certain terms:

1. Luggage security check at the airport: Baggage Carwash

2. A stand-up comedian: Manic Depressive individual with a sense of irony

3. A Dictator: A guy who has an issue with his height and is compensating in other ways. (Oh, and he need a juicy moustache.)

4. Yelling at a TV during the football game: The standard by which many men measure their manhood.

5. Meeting the parent’s in law: A chance to see how you’ll end up 20 years.

6. Cats: Pets with serious attitude problem who pretend to love you and then scratch your eyes out for kicks.

7. L’Oreal Commercials: Computer-manipulated women who try to convince themselves more than others that they’re worth the thousands of dollars they were paid to do that ad. 

8. The security procedure run-through on planes: An unjustified demand for attention.

9. Christmas tree: A great way to fill your carpet with 10 Billion needles.

10. Retirement home: Minimum security Prisons

11. The cleaner: The origin of your soap shortage problems.

12. The waiting room at the doctor’s: A place where you guess what everybody else has got

13. The Best man: the guy she really should be marrying

14. A date: A job interview that lasts all night

15. Chopsticks: Chinese public announcement of fork-opposition

16. MacDonald’s: A triple by-pass

Our Wildest Dreams

-

We treat you like luck and like fiction

You’re there as the final reserve

Our personal Genie contained in a lamp

Surely that is the God we deserve

-

We treat you like a panic reflex

When our plans fail you are the final call

You’ve become this abstract painting hanging lifeless

So we can say we have some culture on the wall

-

(Chorus)

Far beyond all that we have imagined

Beyond what the wisest have taughts

How could we fathom your beauty

Or try and place your wonder in a box?

Far beyond this picture’s flawed vision

Beyond the world we see and we know

Lord, thank you for revealing truth

to a sinner like me

Jesus, you’re far and beyond our wildest dreams

Jesus, you’re far and beyond our wildest dreams

-

We treat you like a myth found in history

An elaborate legend at best

We save you for the red-day occasions

When you’re name becomes a once-a-year guest

-

You’ve become a puzzle formed with the pieces

Of the preferences and guessings of man

Just a childish substitution for the restless

And forgotten is the God of Abraham

-

(Chorus)

Far beyond all that we have imagined

Beyond what the wisest have taughts

How could we fathom your beauty

Or try and place your wonder in a box?

Far beyond this picture’s flawed vision

Beyond the world we see and we know

Lord, thank you for revealing truth

to a sinner like me

Jesus, you’re far and beyond our wildest dreams

Jesus, you’re far and beyond our wildest dreams

-

Do You Know Them?

 

He wrote them, read them,

Taught them, learned them,

 Applied them, sang them,

Lived by them,

Died by them,

loved them, loved with them,

spoke them, made them,

Thought them, dreamed with them,

He started with them and will end with them

He painted a picture with them,

He tore the night with them; stormed the gates with them

He killed death with them, He rose the dead with them

He defended God with them

He used them as a sword, and as a healing balm

He fulfilled them

He re-formed man with them, He reformed man with them

He started a revolution with them, and lit a light with them,

He opened a door that no one can close with them,

He threatened evil with them

He described hope with them,

He trusted in them, and He wrote in the dust with them

He judged with them and pardoned with them

He tore a veil and broke a mold with them,

He needed them more than bread, and broke their bread to the hungry

He is them and they are in Him,

He creates with them, and things exist through them,

He rules by them

and took the fall for the preservation of them,

His truth is in them, and they have survived the Centuries

Life is in them and in their embodiment

He places them in us, that we might be in Him

In His mouth they are not dead

In his hands they are not empty

He desperately calls to us through them

He longingly draws us closer them by them

And in them He calls us to seek for Him…..

-

Do you know them?

Do you know His Word?

-

^“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

(John 1:14, The Holy Bible)

I Heard the Bells

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And mild and sweet their songs repeat
Of peace on earth good will to men

And the bells are ringing
Like a choir they’re singing
In my heart I hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair I bowed my head
There is no peace on earth I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men

But the bells are ringing
Like a choir singing
Does anybody hear them?
Peace on earth, good will to men

Then rang the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth He sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men

Then ringing singing on its way

The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men

And the bells they’re ringing
Like a choir they’re singing
And with our hearts we’ll hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

Do you hear the bells they’re ringing?
The life the angels singing
Open up your heart and hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

Peace on earth, Peace on earth
Peace on earth, Good will to men

Adventist Webiste

My attention has recently been drawn to a new Adventist webiste, officially belonging to the Seventh-day Adventist church, which contains some vidoes adressing relevant and contemporary issues and the church’s response and relation to them.  It is excellent!

http://www.youtube.com/user/Adventistsaboutlife#p/u/4/fGlTmFC13rY

Your Dream

Dark and cold on the dungeon floor

Weary, torn between prison walls

Hated, cursed, the looming odds

See here lies the Apostle Paul

 

But in the darkest, deepest room

A song is rising, do you hear the tune?

As he holds a joy which cannot break

The prisoner sings out God’s Praise

 

Chorus:

People of hope, daring to dream

Seeking to love like the Nazarene

We dare to place our hope

In a God unseen

Jesus, give us the strength to believe

In the joy of your dream

 

 

Down the road comes a simple man

Dirty sandals and raw-worked hands

But in his heart plays a silent song

The world had hungered for so long

 

Lighting flames and planting seeds

Raising dead, fulfilling needs

Son of man who dared to dream

The picture of a God He’d seen

 

People of hope, daring to dream

Seeking to love like the Nazarene

We dare to place hope

In a God unseen

Jesus, give us the strength to believe…

 

Bridge:

Jesus, make us a people

Who sing in the prisons

And make us a people who step on the waves

And make us disciples

Who wait on your promise

That our God is mighty to save!

 

Chorus:

People of hope, daring to dream

Seeking to love like the Nazarene

We dare to place our hope

In a God unseen

Jesus, give us the strength to believe

In the joy of your dream

The Majority Report

We are safe. The night air is cold and the day’s walk has been so long, but we are safe once again. I press against my brothers and sisters as we huddle together and push through the gate. Home again, safe again. Soon we are all inside and the gate is shut behind us. The bleeting calms down, and we know it’s time for the night’s count. It is time for the nightly report.

His hands are warm. He sets his staff down and enters the gate. Speaking in soft, hushed tones he calmly makes his way through the fold. He strokes our backs as he passes. He checks our legs for injuried, all the times humming a quiet evening tune. He picks the smallest up in his arms and lends his body heat to it and lends it a kiss. And all the while, he counts. Counting, counting…

Suddenly the gentle tune stops. He stands very still. He places the lamb back beside its mother and squints his eyes. No. It can’t be. He counts us again, and a third time. His face bears a look of pain and he begins to walk towards the gate. He exits the gate and picks up his staff. “Only 99. One is missing, one is not here,” the Shepherd whispers quietly to himself. The fold begins to stir, but he raises his hands, bids us farewell, turns around and disappears into the dark night.

We are left in the silence of his absence. The Shepherd has left? All of us who obeyed the correcting tap of his staff all day are left behind. All of us who followed the route he had set are left behind. We are shocked, we are astonished; not because we feel unsafe, but because the Shepherd knows well of the dangers of the night. To risk his life for one rebellious mammal? Why leave the 99 to find 1? It had probably been found by a wild animal already. What were the chances of finding it; one sheep in an ocean of darkness…?

He calls and calls for it. Past the jagges rocks, through the roaring river, across the open fields. The hours pass and the weary feet of the Shepherd retraces the steps of the journey that day. But more than his aching feet, his arms ache to hold his lost one again.

Suddenly a faint sounds is heard from some thorn bushes to the left of him..

We watched and waited till our eyes grew sore and our limbs stiff and cold. And then, after an eternity, we heard familiar footsteps and we heard a familar evening tune. The Shepherd silouette could be seen in the moonlight, with something across his shoulders. He was home. The nightly report was complete.

We expect the Master to lie down to sleep, but instead he acts very strangely. He runs to the nearest house in the village and wakes them all. When this is accomplished, he runs to the next house, and the next. All the while he shouts: “I found it! I found it! They are all here!”

The night was still not more. All the neighbours began to emerge from their houses and bars and his contagious joy caught them. They laughed and danced and sang and celebrated. Some neighbours shook their heads, wondering how this Shepherd could be so glad at the return of one, insignificant sheep. Shouldn’t he have been satisfied with having the majority? Why go through all that trouble for one little lamb?

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

We are safe. The space in which our globe hangs is cold, but we are safe tonight too. I press against my brothers and sisters as the King moves amoung us. Time for the count; time for the nightly reports. Suddenly the King of Kings stops. He slowly lays down his sceptre and takes off his crown. We watch in shock and in silence as he moves towards the small globe of green and blue. Before he leaves, he says: “One is missing, one is not here.” Then he bids us goodbye and steps into the dark to find the lost planet, where all the creatures as sheep have gone astray.

“I Am the Good Shepherd” John 10:11-18

 

There IS a thing such a stupid Question!!

In retrospect, I often find my arguments with God bordering on the hillarious. Of course, it’s not funny at the time, but looking back over what was said (by me) I can’t help but think that much of it’s really funny stuff. Here was some of those typical moments that frequently occur and that tickle my funnybone…

 

1. I’m talking to the God who cares when a bird falls from a tree, makes provision so that the ants survive another winter, and knows how many hairs I have on my head. (even after I give it a good brush) With all this in mind, I then have the nerve to say: “God, don’t you care? Can’t you see? Aren’t you paying attention?”

 

 

2. I’m talking to the God who never forgets, and who never comes late. He has the best internal database and the most accurate diaryplanner there is, and yet I hiss like a fretting cat: “Lord, remember….have you forgotten?….

 

 

3. He gave me His life, and conquered death, and then I have ask questions like: “Lord, you do know this exam is important to me, don’t you?” Trust me, I think He knows what’s important and cares about the stuff I care about, simply because He cares about me!!

 

4. He created a the smallest atom and the largest planets. He holds the whole Universe in his hand, and retains its beauty despite man’s wonderfully efficient ways of wrecking this beautiful planet.  He still keeps it going and working like clockwork. Very logical that I should then ask if He has it all under control…right? “Lord, do you know what you’re doing? I just find it hard to trust you…”

 

 

5.  He created the world in 7 days. Naturally, then, I ask: Lord, will you make me ready in  time for this challenge?

 

6. Jesus Christ did not only die for me. He patiently bore pain, sickness, fever, temptation, hate, unpopularity, loneliness, cold, hunger, headaches, heartaches, unthankfulness, facing the greatest odds, whipping, unfaithfulness, a thorny crown, disciples who were extremely slow on the uptake, hopeless religious leaders, sleepless nights, rejection, abuse, seperation from his Father, nails, bruises, thirst, and death. One would think that I should know the answer to the question: ” Lord, do you really love me?”

 

 

Thank goodness that God’s answers are wiser than my questions.

Chameleons, Ying-Yang, and Pigeons

It seems that the ”youthful” years are made up of two main social stages, at least for many people. The first stage is what I like to call the “Chameleon” stage. The main goal of this young person’s existence is to mold with his or her surroundings. ”If the others are wearing it, I’ll wear it. If the others are eating it, I’ll it too. If the others are walking like they’ve had an accident, I walk like that too.”

This stage is without a doubt an exhausting part of life because the trends and norms are constantly changing in that world. What was reality today is but a dream tomorrow, and if you don’t role with the punches, you’re going to end up showing up in classroom in YESTERDAY’S fashion. (Gasp!) “Dude! That is SO last year’s sweater!”

The second stage is just about the exact opposite of the first one. It is what I affectionately refer to as the “Ying-Yang” stage. If the rest of the world is black, the person going through this stage must be white. If they’re going East, this person must go West. It’s the strongly individualistic stage that has been characterised by large movements and trends in our past Western history. The 60’s, for example. Think free, be different, find yourself, be your own boss, don’t take orders from no one, think outside the box, be free man! (For those who are having convulsions over my last grammatical errors, I assure you it was done on purpose.)

 

 

Note that these stages can mix and merge and they have no reason or rhyme to them. In addition to this, although I have been referring to the teenage years, these stages can appear at anytime in life. (while some never emerge from them. You may have seen them around…grandfathers on Harley’s and mom’s in miniskirts.) Luckily most people get through these stages in one piece and end up not wanting to be completely different or completely the same as everyone else.

 Now, here is the million dollar question. (KA-CHING!) What are Christians supposed to be? Comformists? Rebels? Lay down? Stand up? Go with the flow? Confront and fight? At what stage do Christians find themselves at today? Just stop and think about it for a second…                                              

What do you most strive and struggle to achieve > looking and sounding and being like others (music, clothes, language, interests, hobbies, work, etc) or being different?

I think that Christians in ages past have walked into both traps of extreme Chameleon behaviour and extreme Ying and Yang behaviour. Some have sold all their belongings and moved out into the mountains to be away from the cities, others have used each and every swear word known to man, on a regular basis,  while attended church each week. So what’s the answer? Is it balance or is it extremities?

 

Well, here is where the argument “Christianity calls people to be robots who mindlessly follow anything” argument kind of takes a fall. God asks his disciples to use their brains and be wise.

“See, I am sending you out as sheep amoung wolves. Therefore, be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves.” (Matthew 6:10)

Jesus is asking his followers to use the wisdom and experience which He gives them along the way to discern what is the best balance in their lives. If you can come in contact with more people and be of a greater blessing, without putting yourself in harms way, then mingle with your surroundings! And if we sometimes find that certain situations or decisions place us under the tendency of temptation, then we must find another way to contextualise our faith.

It is possible to achieve the serpent-dove balance; not being a conformist to the world’s ways, and not being an aggressive and judgemental Christian. But we need the Lord’s insight and help. We need him to point out the tendencies for pitfalls, and the hidden passages to ways of being lights in this place and time. We need neither hide away in the wilderness, nor conform to the sins and darkness of our society.  In the world but not of the world; A Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream with a DIFFERENT flavour!

It’s time for Christians to put aside the endless internal conflict surrounding the ”conservatism” vs. “liberalism” balance; the oldies against the teens; the organ versus the drums; the nun-outfit versus the mini-skirt. Our God is a CREATIVE God and He manages to work through so many different channels and forms. Is He controlled and manipulated by culture or trends?

 He is always looking for new and exciting ways of reaching the hearts of men with His Good News. Let’s refrain from turning Christians into bad news…celebrate diversity, while strengthening a core identity.

In the wise words of Gus from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding:

“So today here, we have apples and oranges.  We all different now but in the end we’re all fruit.”

 

The Mighty Spoon

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

(Romans 12:21)

 

Although, at first glance, this admonition seems to be a noble Christian principle; to overcome evil with good, if you really think about the implications and the practicallities of the follow-through, it seems a rather strange command made by Paul. It’s almost like a the continuing chapter of Jesus’ ground-breaking new veiw on how to treat our enemies; “love your enemies”. Love? Love your enemies? To put it in more crude terms: to be good when they’re bad? To be willing to take a beating? To put up with the rubbish? To stand down, back out, wave the white flag?!!!

I have to admit that my stubborn nature feels queesy at the very thought. It seems so feeble and lame. It appears so weak and the characteristics of a “loser”. GOD IF YOU’RE SO POWERFUL, WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME, YOUR FOLLOWER, TO APPEAR SO WEAK??!! Where’s the macho-God-zap-all-enemies power in that? And most importantly, is it really possible to practically, everyday, overcome evil with good?

Sometimes the very idea of “overcoming evil with good” feels like trying to battle a great, big fire-breathing dragon with a plastic spoon. Does it really work without getting nailed?

 

There is a very encouraging fact about the battle between good and evil; one which brings hope to us. The good news is found in the very nature of good and evil. Love, being the characteristic of good and hate being the expression of evil, have very different fates. Hate, in its very nature, consumes. It is the biggest consumer of all, that eats and destroys and wipes out everything in its path until there is nothing left. Hate leads, therefore to death. Ironically enough, hate actually brings about its own end by working towards the ultimate goal of death and destruction; to the heart that contains it, and to those who come into contact with it.

Love can deal with death too, but in a very different way.  Love produces and multiplies. It is contagious and spreads itself. In other words, the more there is, the more there is. Love not only creates life, but love also passes through death and can conquer the grave. There is no end, therefore, to love, for it generates its own existence and life. Love is made of the fabrics of Eternity.

Evil, being both destructive and self-destructive cannot ultimately win anything. Even what it wins, it destroys. By Christians returning good with evil, we are planting seeds in the ashes and throwing candles into the dark rooms. By fighting evil with good, it keeps the lover from being contiminated by the thick tar of hate, and it offers hope for those that may wish to depart from the black hole they are fighting so hard to defend.

Love overcame the grave. Good passed through death. If you ask me, that’s some mighty powerful spoon to be fighting with.